WITHOUT DAN HURLEY, LAKERS ARE A NATIONAL JOKE AS CELTICS ASCEND TO NO. 18

Something is wrong when remaining at Connecticut and rejecting $70 million is a bigger deal, meaning Jeanie Buss needs to figure out LeBron James’ future and determine if JJ Redick is a real NBA coach

     The golden banners are bland. Celebrities aren’t any better than Bad Bunny. Outside a 25-year-old building, in a downtown occupied by homeless tents, statues are imposing but want us to recall careers that ended long ago. Even the name is asinine, Crypto.com Arena. Should Sam Bankman-Fried leave prison for a day to do a Jeanie Buss halftime show — while the rest of go to the new Intuit Dome, home of the Clippers?

     That’s where Steve Ballmer asked for Steph Curry’s favorite popcorn — a butterfly brand from Nebraska — and wants high-end sausages from Niman Ranch and pretzels chosen after a week of Austrian training. He’ll have a world-record 1,500 toilets this season so no one waits to use the bathroom.

     The Lakers? They offered $70 million for six years to Dan Hurley. He said no Monday, turning them into a national joke. College basketball’s best coach rejected a chance to lead LeBron James — we presume, anyway, unless he takes lowball money to join Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving in Dallas — about 20 years after Mike Krzyzewski blew off an offer to coach Kobe Bryant and five years after Tyronn Lue snubbed them.

     Is it possible, as the Boston Celtics try to recapture the NBA lead with an 18th title banner, that Buss and Rob Pelinka have teamed with James to make a mockery of the dynasty? The Lakers have won once in 14 years, in an Orlando bubble that didn’t allow a southern California parade, and Hurley will remain at Connecticut. It could be his way of telling the controlling owner and her basketball boss, not to mention LeBron, that he doesn’t trust any of them. Frank Vogel won a title as a coach and was fired. Since Phil Jackson departed in 2011, they’ve hired and fired the following: Mike Brown, Mike D’Antoni, Byron Scott, Luke Walton, Vogel and Darvin Ham. Would Hurley even see a sixth season — or fourth? — if he failed to get past Dallas, Denver, Minnesota and Oklahoma City in the vaunted Western Conference?

     When the UConn Huskies are more attractive than the Los Angeles Lakers, in a time when college hoops is disrupted by the transfer portal, something is evidently distorted in the sports world. If you wonder why Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck flashed a technical-foul sign at Doncic, consider it a clue of how important a championship would be for the first time since 2008. The Lakers, who’ve failed five times under James, are heading in a direction where people will wait to use the toilet.

     Does LeBron want to keep playing for a team dismissed by Hurley? Won’t he take a closer look at a new team, especially if the Mavericks or Cavaliers draft son Bronny and allow a father’s dream to come true? He doesn’t want to fight for 10th place in the West. He wants a final hit of serious action, which is why he speaks up and describes Irving as the “most gifted player the NBA has ever seen.” With James, would Dallas have a shot of beating Boston? Seems that way.

     For now, the Lakers are weighing New Orleans assistant James Borrego, who is next to be dismissed, and the offputting JJ Redick. As it is, we’ve ridiculed the idea of James being coached by his podcast partner, who never has run a team beyond the elementary school. Wouldn’t Redick let LeBron coach the team and stand oh-so-proudly during the national anthem? What would team meetings look like? Wouldn’t the podcasts be silly? Already, hasn’t Redick shot down the Athletic’s reporter, Shams Charania, for claiming he was close to becoming the Lakers’ coach?

     “In terms of Shams, that will be addressed once the season is over, I’ll just say that,” Redick said. “I don’t mean any job — I mean Shams. We’ll wait on that one.”

     He sounded cryptic, just waiting to bash on Shams. If Redick isn’t hired, his future spot on ESPN’s broadcast team also looks shaky. In just one week, he slumps from the Lakers viewing him as another Pat Riley to … the unemployment line?

     At least the college game keeps its biggest face. Dan Hurley will try to win a third straight national title and, after that, maybe the New York Knicks come calling. He said the Lakers offered “a compelling vision” and said he was “extremely impressed” by Buss and Pelinka. He might be the only one, as he stays for a salary slightly higher than his current $32.1 million in Storrs. Predictably, after attending a Billy Joel concert with his wife over the weekend, he showed up for a UConn practice at 2 p.m. Monday.

     “Our MVP Coach is staying in CT,” Gov. Ned Lamont posted on social media. “Now let's get ready for a #3peat, because Connecticut knows champions are built here!”

     Hey, Dan Hurley’s brother might be available. Bobby might leave Arizona State for the Lakers. Maybe.

     ###

     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.