WELCOME TO L.A., THE MOST HATEABLE PLACE IN AMERICAN SPORTS

By adding Max Scherzer, Trea Turner and Russell Westbrook in one swoop, Los Angeles again flexed its market muscle and bulls-eyed the Dodgers and Lakers as universally loathed superteams

     You wouldn’t envy Los Angeles if you walked past the homeless tents, stacked like favelas by the beach. You wouldn’t resent L.A. if you choked on smoke from the wildfires, or had to strap on a mask indoors due to renewed coronavirus fears, or prayed as a monster truck tried to crush you on the downhill 405 death rush through Sepulveda Pass.

     But sports? Yeah, you loathe L.A. today.

     You do because my town collects superstars and forms superteams like no other. L.A. does this because it can, when your town likely cannot. It’s possible, thanks to the pandemic’s ravages, that Hollywood now is defined more profoundly by sports than show business. All of which sets up a script that America will embrace as an upshot of needing villains in daily life.

     The Dodgers and Lakers officially are hateable.

     On a mind-blowing July afternoon in 2021, the megafranchises reminded the world of their colossal power and interminable resources. The rich not only got richer, they grew more deplorable. The Dodgers — realizing they haven’t performed like “the greatest team in baseball history,’’ as Times columnist Bill Plaschke wildly forecasted in MARCH — fixed their problems by simply throwing millions and young assets at them. Trevor Bauer might be banned by Major League Baseball amid a sexual assault investigation? Then eat that $102 million mistake and trade for future Hall of Famer and three-time Cy Young Award winner Max Scherzer, who will devour October like a leafblower and accompany Walker Buehler, Clayton Kershaw and Julio Urias in the rotation for a World Series repeat run. And while on the phone with the Washington Nationals, accept the greatest throw-in in trade-deadline history: shortstop Trea Turner, one of the sport’s best all-around talents, who gives the Dodgers insurance if Corey Seager, the reigning World Series MVP, leaves in free agency and/or continues to struggle with injuries this season.

     Literally, Chavez Ravine is the home of a top-to-bottom lineup of All-Stars and perennial MVP candidates: Mookie Betts, Turner, Seager, Justin Turner, Cody Bellinger, Max Muncy, A.J. Pollock and Will Smith, with Chris Taylor as the super-utility man. And if the price was steep — four prospects, including prizes in pitcher Josiah Gray and catcher Keibert Ruiz — please understand that the Dodgers are stalking a dynasty. They are expected to do so by a massive fan base that continues to pack Dodger Stadium, even as the Delta variant sweeps the region, and knows that the nameless, faceless money men at parent company Guggenheim Baseball are pocketing more than $8 billion in a local cable deal. The fans hold the owners accountable. The owners want to win and mug for the TV camera beside the trophy. Thus, they had no problem bidding up and topping their rivals in San Diego, who thought they had a deal for Scherzer earlier in the day. That quickly, the Dodgers reaffirmed their status as Series favorites.

     This is precisely how a sports team should operate in a major market. But because so many owners in population capitals don’t know how to win, or don’t want to spend the money to win, big places such as New York and Chicago suffer lengthy title droughts. That doesn’t happen in L.A., where, ironically, the locals don’t live and die with sports the way they do in the Midwest and back East. A lot of people are transplants, you see, and those who did grow up here handle season-ending losses by heading to the beach. But when folks do pay attention, the L.A. teams had better win and be potently relevant. Or they will be tuned out, as Kawhi Leonard and even Mike Trout painfully know and Matthew Stafford soon might find out.

     Scherzer, a theatrical beast on the mound, can’t wait to step into the hot lights. He won one championship ring in D.C. How many more might he win in L.A. if he stays long-term and isn’t just a three-month rental? “I’d rather look at this as a positive,’’ he said as he left Washington. “I mean, look, I signed a seven-year deal, and we won a World Series. The first thing I said when I signed was that I’m here to win. We won a World Series. That’s a lifelong dream come true.’’

     The same gaudy standards apply to the Lakers. Finally unimpeded by family ownership drama and internal dysfunction, boss Jeanie Buss figured out the basic formula: Bring in LeBron James, hand power to agent Rich Paul, rescue Rob Pelinka from the discordant Magic Johnson, and watch the stars follow. When a championship inside the Disney Bubble was followed by the harsh truths of a failed encore — James is nearing 37, Anthony Davis is brittle and can’t stay on the floor — they ripped apart a losing core and gambled on … Russell Westbrook.

     Instantly, by adding his $44.2 million salary to the mammoth deals of James and Davis, the Lakers have created yet another money-bloated NBA superteam. Unlike the Dodgers, though, this move is fraught with peril. Westbrook can be as divisive as he is dazzling, a skittish shooter and polarizing ball hog who methodically produces triple-doubles at the expense of winning. It doesn’t take much imagination to see him playing hero ball — and padding the stat sheets — while clanking forced shots in crunch time, prompting James and Davis to pout and plot against him. If Westbrook is loyal to a facilitator role and understands he’s the No. 3 guy in the mix, this has a chance. He has yet to win a title, after all, and wants to prove he can win in his L.A. homecoming with James and Davis when he couldn’t with the likes of Kevin Durant, James Harden and Bradley Beal.

     But Kyle Lowry, a selfless point guard, would have been a better idea and fit. And Frank Vogel doesn’t have the coaching temperament to deal with the politics of LeBron, A.D. and Paul versus Russ. James is back in rage mode as he hears reports of his basketball demise and reads scathing, mocking reviews about his movie, “Space Jam: A New Legacy.’’ Does he really think Westbrook, on his fourth team in four years, can finalize the LeBron legacy triumphantly? Doesn’t he know how Russ, going on 33, averaged 23 points, 14 assists and 13.5 rebounds down the stretch for the Washington Wizards — and that he’ll want to make the same historic impact in prime time at Staples Center? Seems LeBron might prefer the departing Kyle Kuzma and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, who were sent to D.C. when they at least could shoot with some consistency.

     Westbrook, like Scherzer, was thrilled about the future as he penned his goodbye to Washington. “Thank you DC! You welcomed my family and I with open arms from day one," he wrote on social media. “Everyone from the front office, to the training staff, the coaches, my teammates, and the fans. I'm grateful y'all took a chance on me and supported me every step of the way. I'm blessed to have been a part of such a stand up organization. It didn't take long to make a home in DC, and I will forever be appreciative of my experience with the organization. Thank you! #thedistrict."

      Here’s the lowdown about NBA superteams: They do lose. When Harden and Kyrie Irving succumbed to injuries, Durant couldn’t win by himself in Brooklyn. That gave rise to Giannis Antetokounmpo, who could have fled Milwaukee for his own superteam but re-upped in a small market, leading to the charming championship of the Bucks. Similarly, the Toronto Raptors were anything but contrived in winning a title, but when Leonard left to forge a supertandem with Paul George, the other L.A. team, the Clippers, twice failed to reach the Finals. Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors were lovable when they won a championship without Durant, then became the bad guys when Durant joined them for two more titles. Then he blew out his Achilles, and they lost to Toronto.

     Sure, life is fun and groovy for a sports aficionado in southern California. It’s a pick-a-legend existence: Betts, Scherzer, Kershaw and the champs at Chavez Ravine; Trout and Shohei Ohtani down the freeway in Anaheim; LeBron, Davis and Westbrook in purple and gold, with Kawhi across the hall; and Aaron Donald in Inglewood, where Stafford and Justin Herbert will try to reach a Super Bowl this February at magnificent SoFi Stadium.

     Yet I’m compelled to issue a warning: Don’t be too blinded by the L.A. lights. When the Lakers were eliminated, Title Town U.S.A. became a much smaller market, Tampa Bay, where Tom Brady migrated to win a Super Bowl, the NHL Lightning have won two straight Stanley Cups and the Rays might have beaten the Dodgers in the 2020 Series if not for a foolish pitching change. Could the Rays win a rematch this fall?

     I know who America won’t be rooting for.

     Jay Mariotti, called “the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes sports columns for Substack and a Wednesday media column for Barrett Sports Media while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts in production today. He’s an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and radio talk host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects. Compensation for this column is donated to the Chicago Sun-Times Charity Trust.