WELCOME TO AN NFL SEASON MADE FOR TOMMY DEVITO AND HIS “SLIMY” AGENT

The league has turned unsteady thanks to nonstop quarterbacking injuries, but events in New York have turned a local kid into a legend, despite the doltish ESPN commentary of Eli and Peyton Manning

     In a league of Easton Stick, Nick Mullens, Bailey Zappe, Jake Browning, Aidan O’Connell, Davis Mills, Tyson Bagent, Mitchell Trubisky, Clayton Tune and, don’t forget, Gardner Minshew and Joe Flacco and WILL LEVIS, I’m not sure why the Mannings turned antagonistic. Eli said he had “intel from my boys” that Tommy DeVito’s agent was nicknamed “slimy” in college.

     “Perfect,” Peyton said of Sean Stellato, who was dressed in a black pinstripe suit, a black hat and a gold bracelet as he kissed DeVito’s father, who returned the favor in the MetLife Stadium stands. “He looks like Johnny Fontane from ‘The Godfather.’ Don’t show the agent. They’re showing the agent more than they do the Chiefs’ family section,” said Peyton, referring to Taylor Swift’s frequent presence.

     The NFL is not a sanctuary for quarterbacks this year, or good broadcasters. Why would the Mannings, on their Monday night program, embrace doltishness in breaking down the DeVito chronicles that have engulfed metropolitan New York? Nothing describes the diluted competition better this forgettable season than to see an undrafted player, who apparently went to Syracuse and Illinois, take over the Giants and somehow lead them to three straight victories. DeVito does this as he lives at home in New Jersey, where his mother makes chicken for him at night, which spawned the nickname of Tommy Cutlets.

     Born and raised in New Orleans, the Mannings dragged a word that shouldn’t be used, in a world where Israel and Hamas are at war. Slimy? Have they tried looking at their own show? Focus on a great story.

     “Everything I need is there at the house,” DeVito said. “The decision was made since this level of football is stressful for a rookie, especially from the quarterback position. There is a lot going on, a lot of meetings. So everything outside of football is handled by my family. I don’t have to worry about laundry, what I’m eating for dinner, chicken cutlets and all that is waiting for me when I get there. My mom still makes my bed. Everything is handled for me. Honestly, I don’t even know if I could find a place closer to here than where I live. It takes me 12 minutes to get here.”

     Any other tale better in the league? Brock Purdy’s rise from Mr. Irrelevant to possible MVP honors is mainstream compared to DeVito, whose parents and agent have become American stalwarts as their rookie stars on national TV. Patrick Mahomes is apologizing for yelling at officials, in a conference where Miami blew a late lead to Tennessee while Baltimore looks in charge. Anyone capable of beating the 49ers in the NFC? If Stellato would like to keep smooching DeVito’s father, who calls himself “the fastest boiler installer” atop a plumbing and heating company, it’s better than anything else until the postseason arrives.

     “I don’t know where ‘slimy’ comes from, but if Peyton wants to challenge me in a 40-yard dash, I’m more than happy to do that,” said Stellato, who will be inducted this week into the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame in Chicago. “I never heard that nickname in my life. It is what it is. I think he might watch too much ‘Goodfellas.’ ’’

     No one is sure what’s happening with Stellato, called “the Italian Stallion of sports agents” by DeVito. But the quarterback is providing solid play at a spot where Daniel Jones somehow was given $160 million. Quarterbacks no longer can remain healthy, as known by Joe Burrow, Aaron Rodgers, Justin Herbert, C.J. Stroud, Deshaun Watson, Anthony Richardson, Kirk Cousins, Kenny Pickett, Jimmy Garoppolo and Jones. So why not DeVito, who told the team to “let’s go win the game” and hit four passes for 53 yards in the final 1:33, giving the Giants a 24-22 win over Green Bay? He threw, he ran, and has fired seven touchdown passes with just one interception.

     "You enjoy it when it's an outcome like this, right?” DeVito said. “I mean, I enjoy being on the field any play, no matter what play it is. So just try to enjoy it. I think as a quarterback, you have to stay even keel through it all. You know, because when you are winning like we are right now, everything is high, and when you are losing, everything is low. So, I take pride in that. It's something that I've grown over, obviously over time, from when I was playing from when I was 5. Throughout high school and college, just continuing to grow that part of my game.”

     He won a state championship at Don Bosco Prep. His parents have turned every Giants home game into a family celebration, with more than 300 folks joining them in parking lot G16. As his father, Tom, told his son to “rally the troops,” he told the New York Post of a tailgate party that spilled into the seats. “We’re giving the whole Italian show,” he said. “It’s gonna be craziness. We’re gonna give ’em the Italian theater they’ve been asking for. Three hundred chicken cutlets, Italian sandwiches, baked ziti, sausage and peppers, rice balls — everything Italian. I’m gonna have my guys setting up sandwiches with Italian headbands on. We got an Italian flag with Tommy’s picture on it. They’ve been begging for it. We’re gonna give it to ’em.”

     And the Giants? They’ve suddenly come alive when the year seemed lost. “We don't have to worry about that. He keeps his composure,” coach Brian Daboll said. “There was really nothing to say. Here's a couple plays we like and go out there and rip that son of a b----. Pretty simple.”

     Said running back Saquon Barkley: “Calm, poised, cool, collected, taking what the defense gives him. That is rare for a rookie quarterback. With the confidence and swagger that he plays with, you can feel it through the stadium, you can feel it through the sideline.”

     The agent, Stellato, might return from his Hall of Fame ceremony and meet with the Giants. Down on Jones, the front office might draft high enough to take Jayden Daniels, the Heisman Trophy winner. Doesn’t DeVito earn a spot? For now, his Italian-American love-in is embraced by an area that has had another rough NFL season. “It’s good for business,’’ Tommy said.

     For now, an agent brings up a better word than the Mannings. “I don’t know if that’s just him being a Southern dude. I look at it as elegant,” he said.

     The cameras will be on the family this Sunday in New Orleans and the following week in Philadelphia. That game will be Christmas Day on Fox, where the Mannings will leave commentary to the well-mannered.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.