TOM BRADY IS THE NEW ROASTER AND CAN’T AFFORD TO GO SOFT AT $375 MILLION
He recently suggested he’ll be easy on Daniel Jones, the flawed Giants quarterback, but Brady can't be mushy and gushy when Fox Sports pays him gargantuan money to be markedly candid about the NFL
He has been massacred by Nikki Glaser. “You have seven rings. Well, eight, now that Gisele gave hers back,” the comic told Tom Brady, before adding of Gisele Bundchen’s martial-arts trainer and squeeze, “Tom, the only thing dumber than you saying ‘yes’ to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey, babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’ ’’
She also said this about Bridget Moynahan, who gave birth to Brady’s oldest son: “You retired, then you came back, and then you retired again. I get it. It’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend. It’s tough. Hey, to be fair, he didn’t know she was pregnant. He just thought she was getting fat.”
So, having been through the grossest of roasts, it shouldn’t be difficult for Brady to make $375 million and pursue marked candor as a sportscaster. To do so, he must tell the truth, which he didn’t do when Deflategate mangled his life but was left to swallow hard when Netflix devoured him. “I liked when the jokes were about me. I thought they were so fun. I didn’t like the way they affected my kids,” he said. “It’s the hardest part about … the bittersweet aspect of doing something that you think is one way and then all of a sudden you realize I wouldn’t do that again because of the way it affected the people that I care about most in the world.”
As the most successful player to throw a football and win titles at the most vital position in sports, Brady has every right to speak up forthrightly on Fox Sports. That’s what we expect in the broadcast booth, rather than have him hem and haw and hack if a quarterback creates a mess. The other day, he was asked at Fanatics Fest how he’ll approach his gig, which launches Sept. 8. His answer in New York started well.
“Let's say Daniel Jones throws an interception,” he said.
Not realizing he’d quickly become the Nikki Glaser of his panel discussion, Brady heard the crowd laugh. The worst joke in the city is how many turnovers might be committed by Jones with the Giants. He should have rambled on and explained to the audience how the all-time G.O.A.T. would criticize a real GOAT in 2024. Instead, he took the mush-and-gush safe route that many athletes assume when they accept media positions. No one wants to hear a gentle Tom Brady at $37.5 million a season. We might get that creature.
“I didn't mean to say it like that. I wasn't even being critical of Daniel Jones. Maybe I was a little,” he said. Instead of commenting, “That was horrible,” Brady went soft and said, “I just can’t say that on TV.”
“Why not?” said discussion stagemate Stephen A. Smith, who never is afraid to rip anyone at ESPN.
“Well, because there are parents and there are family members and I don't want to always necessarily say it in that way,” Brady said. “But if I was doing it myself and let's say I threw a really bad interception, I would walk to the sidelines and say, ‘You are the worst quarterback in the world. How could you possibly make that throw? Terrible!’ But I don't want to be so critical because in some ways I don't necessarily know exactly what the problem was on that play. Let's say Daniel Jones throws an interception.”
If he turns cautious too often, I’ll be the first to shout that Greg Olsen never should have been removed from the network’s No. 1 color role. Brady and Kevin Burkhardt are Fox’s top team and will oversee some of the NFL’s biggest games. On the first Sunday, they’ll have Dak Prescott worthy of judgment as the Dallas quarterback who wants bigger annual money than Brady made in his 23 seasons — especially if he fails against the Browns defense in Cleveland. We don’t need slushy, squishy Tom.
The NFL’s best quarterback needs the best Brady: Patrick Mahomes, who has won three championships. A 40-year-old trying to win his second title needs the best Brady: Aaron Rodgers. The quarterbacks who can’t win the Super Bowl need the best Brady: Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, Jalen Hurts, Justin Herbert. The injured quarterback needs him: Joe Burrow. The 262nd draft pick, Brock Purdy, needs No. 199. The great find in Houston, C.J. Stroud, needs him. The bedraggled and washed-up Deshaun Watson and Russell Wilson need Brady. A flurry of rookies, from Caleb Williams to Jayden Daniels to Bo Nix, need him. What about Tua Tagovailoa, who trashed his former coach, Brian Flores, while praising Mike McDaniel? Don’t we want Brady unraveling how he dealt with Bill Belichick?
“To put it in simplest terms, if you woke up every morning and I told you (that) you suck at what you did, that you don't belong doing what you do, that you shouldn't be here, that this guy should be here, that you haven't earned this right, and then you have somebody else come in and tell you, ‘Dude, you are the best fit for this,’ ’’ Tagovailoa told Dan Le Batard. “How would it make you feel listening to one or the other, you see what I'm saying? And then you hear it, no matter what it is, the good or the bad, you hear it more and more, you start to believe that. I don't care who you are. You could be the president of the United States, you have a terrible person telling you things that you don't want to hear or probably shouldn't be hearing, you're going to start believing that about yourself. And so that's what sort of ended up happening.”
What we need from Brady, at least, is a wholehearted analysis of quarterbacking. It’s what he did months ago, when he said overall production “has gone backwards” in recent seasons because leaders don’t have “total control” of their offenses.
“I don’t think it’s improved. I don’t think the teaching has improved,” Brady said. “I think maybe the physical fundamentals might be a little bit improved because there’s better information out there for quarterbacks to study on mechanics. But I don’t think quarterbacks really are really field generals right now like they used to be.
“It’s a broad statement, certainly. But I had total control. I had all the tools I needed. I was coached that way. I was developed to have the tools that I needed to go on the field so that whenever something came up, I had the right play, the right formation, the right audible, the right check at the line — to ultimately take control of the 11 guys on offense and get us into a good, positive play.”
Now, please apply that rationale if Jones or a newbie — such as Drake Maye, Brady’s supposed successor in New England — make mistakes. “I have a high expectation how the game is supposed to be played and how it needs to be coached, how it needs to be officiated,” he said. “I want to see the game grow. I want to see the game succeed. I want to see it better than ever. How can I play a role in impacting that? I can give my opinion, and if people want to listen, great, but if they don't, that's OK. But I only have the best intentions for what I'm about to undertake.”
By now, you know he takes road trips with his kids and parties in the Hamptons. But he is working hard to prepare, knowing his performance will be the most scrutinized of any sportscaster — ever. “I’ve reached out to a lot of amazing people that have helped me, that have listened to the questions I've asked and answered them thoughtfully,” he said. “I approached it with how I approach everything and surround myself with the best people and learn as much as I can. That's the way I did it in football and the way I will do it in broadcasting. I've got a lot of things I've learned through playing football that will let me hopefully convey unique things to the listeners every single week, but at the same time, there's going to be a lot of growth that I'm going to have over a period of time, too.
“So coming out of the box, I want to do well. But I also know that I'm not a finished product, that I'm going to make plenty of mistakes. I'm going to learn as I go. Certainly, as a broadcaster, I don’t think for me it's about competition. For me, it’s about, ‘Did I put everything I could into it? Did I give the fans everything that they tuned in for?’ That is how I’ll end up gauging myself and I’ll have to look at myself after every Sunday, saying, ‘Did I do a good enough job? Did I live up to the belief that Fox had in me?’ ’’
At $375 million for 10 years, Fox wants Brady to bring large headlines and dominate the scene. Lachlan Murdoch is not paying him to be friendly with Daniel Jones. When in doubt, remember Netflix. Every weekend is a new roast, and he is in charge.
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Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.