STEPHEN A. SAYS HE’S MORE POLISHED BECAUSE HE’S BLACK — RACISM, INDEED

When ratings for programs hosted by Smith and Pat McAfee aren’t worth the hassle, Stephen A. wants a mind-boggling contract at ESPN because he is “black” and McAfee isn’t as “polished politically”

     They are analyzing sports news, God help us all. No one needs mob scenes, especially at ESPN, which has ruined its name with too many racial references through the years. Pat McAfee is a former punter, with hair from Great Clips and a declutterable tank top, supported by mostly white partners in Indianapolis. Stephen A. Smith dazzles in finer fashion, still screaming more than he talks, with a crew of generally black partners in New York and Los Angeles.

     And in a scene that should make the network ask why either man is still on the air, Smith says he remains ESPN’s top star thanks to his skin color — and because McAfee is white and merely wants to be the No. 2 star. Somehow, days inside the house have devolved since Jemele Hill tried to take over “SportsCenter” with anti-Trump bulletins when we simply needed NFL takes. Somehow, times are much uglier since Lil Wayne complained about me on “Around The Horn” and Snoop Dogg said, “Who do you think you is?”

     Now, Stephen A. thinks he deserves $25 million a year in a new contract — about $8 million more than McAfee — all because of race. He made the caustic comment during Super Bowl week and wants it to be examined before negotiation day. If a period isn’t placed between $25 million, and we are paying Smith more than $2.5 million, the bosses aren’t seeing ratings that are far below ours in the day at “ATH.” Jimmy Pitaro and Burke Magnus want social-media bluster as executives and don’t care about the quality of their daytime product.

     The words are beneath everything Disney Company is supposed to stand for, back when Mickey wasn’t sneering at Bob Iger.

     “Now, is he as polished politically as me? Nope, because he has no desire to be number one,” Smith said of McAfee. “And number two, if we’re being honest, he’s white, and I’m black; he doesn’t have to be. I had to be. So I get all that, and I’m not knocking him for it.”

     So, McAfee isn’t as polished politically as Smith? So, Smith deserves the highest salary because he’s black and McAfee is white? So, farmer-boy Pat can’t hang with big-city Stephen A.? We actually have to consider this madness for sports coverage? It prompted McAfee to rage at Smith in a recent phone call, according to the New York Post, in which McAfee called him a “motherf—er.” From that, Smith supposedly bounced McAfee from appearing on his “First Take” show next football season.

     When the story went digital, both rabble-rousers settled down and claimed they respect each other. Yet Smith buckled down that he remains No. 1 at the network, which means his current $12 million salary is undervalued, in his view. I’m still waiting for him to apologize, in person, after he mocked Shohei Ohtani for using an interpreter. People call him a performance artist. What disgraceful act is he performing in life?

     “We are No. 1 and he has absolutely contributed to us remaining No. 1. McAfee was asked to come on each Tuesday through the Super Bowl and he did just that, kicking ass each time he came on the air,” Smith said. “If McAfee wants to be on ‘First Take’ next season, he will be on ‘First Take.’ I love winners and McAfee has proven he wins — which helps ME win.”

     Said McAfee, in a text message: “I have nothing but love for Stephen A. I think I’m still welcome on ‘First Take’? I was scheduled through football season to join on Tuesdays, hopefully next year that’ll happen as well.”

     In short, word came down from ESPN’s upper regions to quiet the monsters. Yet McAfee continued his rip job of executive Norby Williamson, after accusing him of trying to “sabotage” him amid the show’s early low ratings. To protect themselves, Pitaro and Magnus keep releasing McAfee’s numbers on YouTube, X and other metrics. In the end, Pat Rat isn’t living up to their phony expectations, which only feeds Smith’s desire to be paid more than McAfee, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.

     “I report directly to Jimmy and Bob. I saw it, ‘Pat calls out his boss.’ I don’t got a motherf—king boss,” McAfee said. “What are we …? We talking Jimmy Pitaro or Bob Iger? Like, is that who we’re talking about? Because those are people that could technically be described as my boss.”

     Hopefully, the ultimate superior of Smith and McAfee — Iger counts, if not Bristol sympathizers — will end the swell of high ESPN salaries. Haven’t they led to too many layoffs? Smith says he could leave if he doesn’t receive his jackpot. Where is he going? His own production company? A podcast? Fox Sports has been a wreck in debate ratings and soon will dump needless Skip Bayless.

     Let Stephen A. go, then. Throw McAfee into the same pile of escapable goo. Neither is worthy of our time, with opinions either too deafening or too mushy or too political for Aaron Rodgers. By saving $43 million a year from paying both, ESPN might avoid economic destruction and show us some nice blooper films. Anything is funnier than these creeps.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.