SPORTS MEDIA: FIVE WHO GET IT, FIVE WHO DON’T
A weekly analysis of the best and worst in sports media from a multimedia content prince — thousands of columns, TV debates, radio shows, podcasts — who receives angry DMs from media burner accounts
THEY GET IT
Charles Barkley’s bosses, Turner Sports — This may shock you, but even HE can’t live forever as a protected corporate species. I’ve been writing for months — years, actually — that Barkley was dumbing down a slippery slope with his crude, unfiltered observations, such as repeatedly insulting the girth of women in Texas and Georgia. Thankfully, merger mania has muted him, with Barkley complaining that his Turner superiors — in a company now controlled by a WarnerMedia/Discovery behemoth — have ended his slur-fest. Appearing on a talk show, Barkley said: ‘‘If you crack a joke the wrong way, they’re like, ‘Oh, no, no, no, you crossed the line.’ I mean, they won’t even let me talk about San Antonio anymore when I’m always talking about their big ole women down in San Antonio.’’ So now Charles is pouting, threatening to retire in two years because he can’t do his shameful shtick. ‘‘You can’t even have fun nowadays without these characters trying to get you canceled and things like that,’’ he moped. ‘‘I’m trying to hang on for another couple of years until I’m 60 and then they can kiss my ass. I’m only working until 60; I’ve already told them that. I’m not working until the day I die. That’s just stupid. And if I don’t have enough money by now, I’m an idiot, anyway. So they should fire me.’’ Be careful what you wish for, Charles. As he embraces TNT’s plunge into legalized gambling during studio shows — despite his tens of millions in betting losses — I will lay 3:1 odds that Barkley is ziggied before 2023. That way, he’ll have more time to keep losing his wallet at Chipotle, as he related this week. Not long ago, I saw Barkley working out diligently in Marina del Rey. Chipotle, Chuck?
Taylor Twellman, ESPN — So where are the social media maggots who destroyed him for stating the truth? Twellman, in the final medical analysis, was accurate in his immediate view that Denmark’s Christian Eriksen suffered cardiac arrest, with the Danish team physician later confirming the midfielder was ‘‘gone’’ before he was resuscitated in a frightening Euro 2020 scene. Unlike some studio quacks who would babble on without doing homework, Twellman contacted a FIFA medical committee member who agreed that no contact was made with Eriksen on the pitch in the 90 seconds before he collapsed. ‘‘This was no contact. And so that means, this is his heart,’’ said the veteran soccer analyst, who further observed, ‘‘It took (the medical staff) one minute and 48 to 49 seconds after he collapses to then perform the CPR when you go back and watch. And that’s the scary thing, because the longer it took for them to recognize that he was unresponsive, that it wasn’t a head injury, that’s where this thing gets scary and that’s where this thing is way more than football, soccer, any kind of sport … you just hope the right decision was made in the perfect amount of time.” Rather than stop and maybe pray for Eriksen, the Twitt-iots were unforgiving in attacking Twellman — and give him credit for signing in and enlightening the likes of ‘‘Disillusioned Gooner’’ and another creep who called him a ‘‘POS.’’ Fortunately, Eriksen is recovering. Unfortunately, the trolls still have their terminal disease.
Booger McFarland, ESPN — In the current Bristol environment, where in-house undertaker Norby Williamson (see below) is looking for any reason to cut salary or payroll, Booger is a man among ass-coverers. It takes guts to rip the College Football Playoff system that ESPN all but owns and operates — and needs to protect when other broadcast companies bid in 2025 for an expanded format. McFarland prioritized his viewers over professional security, blasting the proposal on ESPN’s ‘‘Get Up’’ program. “I think they’re doing the wrong thing,” he said. ‘‘For everyone who says we need to go from four to eight to 12, I would just ask one question: Why? Is it about money, is it about greed, is it about the kids, is it about your satisfaction? Because playing for a national championship should be tough. … I’ve said it from the get-go and I’ll say it again: If they change it from four to eight to anything other than four, they’re making a mistake.” Nothing is at stake here for ESPN, only billions. Props to McFarland for not caring about Disney’s money. And props to “Pardon The Interruption’’ host Tony Kornheiser for going a step farther, saying ESPN will enable playoff expansion with its riches. ‘‘Let me tell you who won’t stop them: this network,’’ he said. ‘‘College football is a goldmine, and ESPN will line up to hand people money.’’ Knowing how Williamson doesn’t appreciate such in-house candor on the air, I wonder how much longer ESPN will line up to pay Kornheiser, who turns 73 next month.
Jeremy Roenick, free-agent litigator — OK, so the outspoken hockey analyst never was going to convince a federal judge that NBC fired him because he’s a heterosexual man. That was Roenick’s legal position after he was dismissed for suggesting, in a humorous stab on a Barstool Sports podcast, that he’d had a sex threesome while on vacation with his wife and network teammate Kathryn Tappen — while NBC didn’t punish figure-skating commentators Johnny Weir (who is gay) and Tara Lipinski for risque remarks in a scripted skit. But while the judge tossed one claim, Roenick’s claims for retaliation and breach will proceed, which suggests a settlement on the horizon — and a chance for Roenick to sign with Turner Sports or ESPN, either of which would benefit from his free-wheeling studio performances in their new hockey voyages. Again, I cite the Charles Barkley Double Standard. If Barkley made a podcast crack about a threesome, his bosses wouldn’t flinch. Roenick does it … and loses his gig?
Tiger Woods, recovering accident victim — He’s a human being, not a cyborg, so I’m not sure what NBC was thinking in inviting him to be a U.S. Open guest analyst this week — less than four months after his horrific SUV crash. ‘‘More painful than anything I have ever experienced,’’ Woods said recently, describing his daily rehab work. Rather insensitively, NBC asked anyway. Explained play-by-play host Dan Hicks: ‘‘We were all thinking how good that would be — who better, if he couldn’t be there to play it, to voice it and have him be part of the show? We were rebuffed. He didn’t want to do it, and I totally understand his situation. There’s a lot going on in his world right now, and there’s also a part of Tiger that doesn’t want to become … for lack of a better word, a sideshow at an event where we should be concentrating on what’s happening.’’ We’re not sure if the man will walk normally again, much less return to a golf course. Can we just let him be? Hopefully, Woods told them ‘‘Hell, no,’’ and not just “``No.’’
Scottie Pippen, author — If he’s unhappy about how he was portrayed in ‘‘The Last Dance’’ docuseries — which was shaped and edited by executive-producing overlord Michael Jeffrey Jordan — then why not write a book with his side of the narrative? This could be a bitter read, especially when he says there’s ‘‘no Michael Jordan as we know him’’ and the ‘‘1990s Chicago Bulls teams would not exist as we know them’’ without Pippen. But when Jordan has presented his side and Bulls management and various odd sources have presented their side via Sam Smith’s bootlicking book, ‘‘The Jordan Rules,’’ I do want to hear Pippen’s side. Having covered the Jordan era in that city, I also want Pippen to explain why he referred to Chicago fans as racists and why police arrested him on a gun charge outside a Gold Coast bar. This cannot be a Scottie blowjob, because his story is no fairy tale. ‘‘UNGUARDED’’ will be available this fall, and I’d better not be wrong about making this a Sixth Who Gets It.
THEY DON’T GET IT
Sarah Spain, ESPN — I could fill this section every week with hypocritical dopes and their short memories. Spain does fine work on the topic of sexual harassment in sports, writing last week: ‘‘I used to think I was one of the few unlucky ones. Now I'm starting to believe that any woman who hasn't been the victim of sexual harassment in pursuit of a career in sports media is an outlier, not the norm. The details differ, but the story is the same and the message is clear: This is the price you pay for wanting to do this job.’’ I’d feel better about Spain’s viewpoint had she not made her infamous eBay offer in 2007, when she auctioned herself as a date for some lucky dude with an extra Super Bowl ticket. Her intent was strictly platonic, but the stunt did land her national attention and launch her sports media career. So, is she not talking from both sides of her mouth? Misogyny is too delicate a subject for Spain to have amnesia about her ‘‘sale,’’ even if it was simply to see Rex Grossman and her beloved Chicago Bears lose. She might want to write a new column soon, explaining what the hell she was thinking.
John Skipper, Meadowlark Media — Did I mention how I could fill this section every week with hypocritical dopes and their short memories? In his fury to raid/borrow talent from his former ESPN kingdom, Skipper conveniently disregarded the history of new hire Howard Bryant. A talented writer and commentator who specializes in racial issues, Bryant was arrested in 2011 and accused of violently attacking his wife — charged with domestic assault and battery, assault and battery on a police officer and resisting arrest, per the Boston Herald. Witnesses told Massachusetts State Police that Bryant ‘‘grabbed his wife’s neck, pushed her into a parked vehicle and pinned her against it’’ outside a pizza shop. His wife didn’t press charges, saying she wasn’t abused, and Skipper — though a vocal champion of women’s rights — joined other ESPN executives in immediately welcoming Bryant back to the fold. Ten years have passed, and Skipper is doubling down on his trademark erraticism, bringing in Bryant as a reporter, podcaster and scriptwriter while he remains at ESPN in a writing capacity. Also guilty of the dreaded double-standard is his co-partner at the startup, Dan Le Batard, who might want to explain the hire to Mina Kimes and some of the female stars he helped groom through the years. I once was accused in a similar legal issue, and I’m still waiting for even one media outlet to report I prevailed in a civil case and that the entire matter was expunged. I’m fortunate that life is good, all is well, and I escaped dysfunctional workplaces with a big smile and intact senses. But others in the media industry might balk at Skipper, wondering why Bryant is watched over by a kingmaker with a wobbly conscience.
Sinclair Broadcast Group — Are you ready to spend $23 monthly to stream the games of your favorite Major League Baseball, NBA and NHL teams? That’s what Sinclair wants to charge for a new service after acquiring 21 regional sports networks from Fox and rebranding them as Bally Sports. This is not the 2010s, when people freely poured disposable income into sports; this is post-pandemic America, where some households might view such investments as wasteful. With rights to 42 franchises in those markets, Sinclair/Bally projects 4.4 million viewers by 2027 despite the outrageous price point. Need I remind those in charge that MLB, for one, is a cheating-infested, action-less, labor-doomed debacle that should be paying the fans to watch? Even if Sinclair re-positioned a period — $23 to $2.30 — disappointment is ahead for the group’s executives. Serves them right for selling out the name to a gambling company.
Norby Williamson, ESPN — If he’s trying to channel ‘‘Pig Vomit,’’ the WNBC radio boss loathed by Howard Stern in ‘‘Private Parts,’’ Williamson is getting close. Every time a major on-air talent departs the company, over a pay cut or a falling-out, he is cited as the evil boss and/or messenger behind the move, which suggests he’s either the bad cop to president Jimmy Pitaro’s good cop or is singlehandedly downsizing the payroll far beneath the luxury-tax threshold. From Kenny Mayne to Dan Le Batard to Ariel Helwani, Norby’s machinations reflect the Radiohead lyric, ‘‘This is what you get … when you mess with us.’’ Now comes word, via Front Office Sports, that Neil Everett — who should be in the lead ‘‘SportsCenter’’ anchor seat inhabited by weaksauce merchant Scott Van Pelt — might be next to depart, which would break up his post-midnight pairing with Stan Verrett (whose deal recently was renewed). This is Williamson, at it again. All I know is, I was on the network’s air for eight consecutive years and about 1,700 episodes of ‘‘Around The Horn,’’ meaning my consistent visibility ranked among the network’s top 25-30 personalities of that period. Not once did I meet or speak by phone to this Bristol power player, and maybe that’s a blessing. Norby is becoming the N in ESPN — as in Nasty.
Tom Keegan, Deadspin free-lancer — I like Keegan. I liked him more when he told the story of why Tommy Lasorda, the late baseball manager, referred to him as ‘‘Blumpy’’ — referring to a man receiving oral sex while sitting on a toilet seat. But in a recent screed about the demise of The National Sports Daily, Keegan was caught in a time warp — the place folded 30 years ago — when he and other news veterans should be focusing on why current shops are dying by the day. At least most of us who worked at The National landed good jobs quickly, which isn’t happening today when outlets fold or shrink in hedge-fund purges. Keegan also took too many cheap shots at editor-in-chief Frank Deford, who died in 2017 and hardly deserved sole blame for excessive spending that led a Mexican media mogul to pull the plug after 16 1/2 months. A more timely examination would be whether The Athletic, the 21st-century digital version of The National, can avoid the same fate. Have at it, Blumpy.
Bill Murray, not-so-funnyman — Normalcy must be returning to Chicago when the native comedic son is singing at Wrigley Field. But after his latest rendition of ‘‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game,’’ Murray offered an insensitive solution for how Cubs ownership can prevent stars Kris Bryant, Javier Baez and Anthony Rizzo from fleeing in free agency. ‘‘I’m going to suggest that the children of Chicago begin something like a March of Dimes and contribute individually lemonade money,” Murray said. ‘‘You can’t expect Tom Ricketts to pay for everything, and they’ve got to be prudent with the way they run their business. … If the children of the city could begin giving up their allowance in the name of keeping this Cub team together after we win the championship this year, I think they’d feel really good about it the rest of their lives.” As Murray should know, any mention of ‘‘the children of Chicago’’ comes with an immediate vision of Black kids under 15 being killed by guns — at a rapidly escalating rate with summer upon us. You’re clever on your feet, Bill. Do better, as our sixth who doesn’t Get It.
Studio assistant with a broom, ESPN — Is it me, or are we all tiring of segments where former athletes enact how a play develops? In their work clothes, Jalen Rose and Jay Williams pretended to be Ben Simmons and Trae Young, while a male worker awkwardly lifted a broom that apparently served as the basket. With the NBA playoffs nearing the conference finals round, it’s important to send a message — please, stop! — as a seventh They Don’t Get It cautionary note. The only way this participatory stuff works is with Bruce Springsteen in the background, mocking them with ‘‘Glory Days.’’
Jay Mariotti, called ‘‘the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes a weekly media column for Barrett Sports Media and regular sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts in production today. He’s an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and radio talk host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects. Compensation for this column is donated to the Chicago Sun-Times Charity Trust.