JUAN SOTO WINS THE BIGGEST CONTRACT IN SPORTS HISTORY, THANKS TO A WOLF

Steve Cohen stole a megastar from the Yankees for $765 million, with no deferrals, giving new meaning to New York fandom while the glum dregs of baseball ask about a Wall Street wolf and his net worth

Do not call Yankee Stadium a shrine when it is something less, a monolithic site of a bank robbery. Hal Steinbrenner will keep playing “New York, New York” on the speakers, but on a December night in 2024, what do his countless legends and 27 World Series titles mean when a hedge-fund creature raided the place? Finally, the new talisman of the five boroughs is Steve Cohen, whose net worth is $21.3 billion.

He used $765 million on Juan Soto, without a penny in deferrals for 15 years. This makes him the biggest financial recipient in the history of sports, meaning he makes more than Shohei Ohtani without having to pitch. Cohen is reconfirmed as a Wall Street mauler and rabid fan whose previous firm was guilty of insider trading, allowing him to slide into the major leagues and remind the Yankees that he is the creator.

The Mets haven’t won a championship since 1986. Here’s a guess they’ll win again before the Yankees, who hoodwinked a lineup to pair Soto with Aaron Judge and lost to the Dodgers in five games. With that slight, Cohen saw a chance to blitz Steinbrenner and buy a colossus ranked among the greatest hitters ever at 26. He just slugged 41 homers and drove in 128 runs. He already won a Series in Washington and isn’t content with finishing second. The Yankees are a dated brand that stopped bidding at $760 million for 16 years.

So the new shrine is in Queens, on the 7-train from midtown Manhattan, where the Mets waved OMG signs in the dugout and will have wilder blasts in the future. Time has passed since this team ran the city, back when Darryl Strawberry made $30.6 million in career earnings. Soto will top that figure in Game 98 next year. Citi Field is the place to be, no longer a ballpark near the U.S. Open tennis grounds as Soto joins Francisco Lindor. “Saturday Night Live” took aim last weekend, with Dana Carvey playing the Church Lady.

“Well, as a Christian, I have to ask you: Why not spend your time and money helping the needy and less fortunate?” he said.

“You’re right,” said Soto, via Marcello Hernandez. “Maybe I’ll sign with the Mets.”

Forget the traditional fan assignments that cast the Yankees as more ascendant with the pinstripes and the Mets as blue-collar mopes. Cohen heisted images, too. Not only is Soto contracted as the most compensated athlete ever, he can opt out after five seasons and make even more money elsewhere — or stick around and let his annual deals soar from $51 million to $55 million, where the total would blow past $800 million. If he wants to buy one of the city’s biggest penthouses, he receives a signing bonus of $75 million, turning Judge into a lowballing figure at $360 million and Ohtani into a deferral project who waits 10 years for 97 percent of his salary.

“The Mona Lisa of the museum,” said Soto’s agent, Scott Boras.

Baseball has two icons in cities where the sport still matters. Ohtani hit 54 homers, stole 59 bases and might win 15 games on the mound, doing so in Los Angeles, where he establishes mind-boggling records for global popularity and turns Dodger Stadium into a business and tourist cradle for Japan. Soto will swing the bat with such force that we’ll be focusing on his numbers — a .421 on-base percentage, 201 homers, 36.3 WAR — for the next decade and a half. They both play in the National League, meaning the Phillies and Braves and Padres must work to disrupt October’s Dodgers-Mets series.

But there’s a larger issue for the rest of the sport. By not signing with the Dodgers, Soto’s agreement affirms 28 teams are relegated — including the Yankees, who will add sluggers but can’t match his aura. Imagine life as a White Sox fan in Chicago, still the No. 3 American market, and hearing owner Jerry Reinsdorf will approve trades this week for Garrett Crochet, Luis Robert and Andrew Benintendi. He is the anti-Cohen and should remove his 88-year-old ruination from the sport. Or imagine life as a Cubs fan and hearing owner Tom Ricketts, who has mighty revenues at Wrigley Field, refusing to participate in Soto bidding. At least Kansas City and no-ballpark Tampa Bay looked into it, with Boston, Toronto and the Ohtanis among those making offers.

Someday, Patrick Mahomes might pass $765 million as he pursues seven Super Bowl titles. But Lionel Messi won’t. Nor will Ohtani. Michael Jordan is the first athlete to make the Forbes list of America’s 400 richest people, but he did so not with the $94 million he made as an NBA player but with his sneaker empire and his ownership of the Charlotte Hornets. Soto toppled the owner-to-employee system.

“Steve’s investment in our team is clear and his desire to win is clear,” said David Stearns, his president of baseball operations. “And he’s been able to forge some really good relationships with players over the early part of his ownership tenure here. And I think that is a huge benefit for our club. He wants to do that. He wants to understand who our players are, what makes them tick, what is important to them.

“So that we can do everything we can to put them and their families in the best position to succeed. Steve has already demonstrated that throughout his ownership tenure here, and I think he will continue to demonstrate that.”

Wherever he is, George Steinbrenner must wonder what Hal is doing to the Yankees. An owner can’t bid $760 million and lose to the Mets. It requires extraordinary patience to carry on as a superstar on 161st Street, which Judge has learned comes with hell during his postseason struggles. Juan Soto set aside the suffering and took his bat 9.9 miles away. He will have fun and wave the OMG signs after meeting with Cohen in his Beverly Hills mansion, where he had dinner and met the family.

Above all, he plays for an owner who doesn’t have 27 championships to uphold. The Yankees have won only once since 2000. In a city that never thought of the notion, the Mets have become a bigger deal thanks to a wolf of Wall Street.

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Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.