IMAGINE AARON RODGERS AS AN ACHILLES TENDON TEAR IN AMERICA’S FUTURE

Nutballish as it sounds that he’d serve under Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as vice president, Rodgers has told enough big lies to be a running mate and a quarterback — while Jimmy Kimmel prepares to die

     Why wouldn’t he? Aaron Rodgers views the vice presidency as one heart attack from the presidency, where he would control even more destructive Hail Marys. He always strikes us as wanting the biggest power structure, in geopolitics and social stratas, than any other athlete on Earth. Here would be his ticket to grime, so far removed from Patrick Mahomes when his prey could be Vladimir Putin.

     Wasn’t he made to accompany Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in his sphere of conspiracy wrangles and COVID hogwash? Didn’t Rodgers intentionally lie about his vaccination status, claiming he was immunized before admitting he “misled” people? And didn’t he lie about Jimmy Kimmel, insisting the comic had ties to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein? “I’m not calling him (a pedophile) and neither should you. Let me make that crystal clear,” Rodgers said. “Those are serious accusations meant for people who are on the list.” Kimmel is on no such Epstein list and still might make Rodgers streak like John Cena in an “I’m Just Ken” gag — if not sue him for millions, Disney on Disney.

     And wouldn’t he be the perfect running mate for Kennedy, who threw a party last July 4 on a Santa Monica street and should have placed Rodgers on a float? What if they’d exploded injections during our nationhood celebration? “The minute they hand you that vaccine passport,” said Kennedy, who needs professional help, “every right that you have is transformed into a privilege contingent upon your obedience to arbitrary government dictates.”

     Allow me to say, here and now, that Rodgers won’t reach office on an independent ticket. We are desperate in this land but not that desperate. Still, imagine the muck: What stops him in early October from staging a wild debate against Kamala Harris? Might he actually coax a public answer from her after 3 1/2 years? He could play for the New York Jets on Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays and still manage a killer role in presidential politics. His boss, owner Woody Johnson, is a massive Donald Trump contributor who served as his ambassador to the United Kingdom. Wouldn’t he love paying $38 million to a quarterback this year and watching him dethrone President Biden? In his mind, that would blow away Joe Namath as a franchise moment.

     If a leg injury prevents Rodgers from reaching a Super Bowl, why can’t he be an Achilles tendon rupture in America’s future? In a race involving Trump and Biden, Kennedy could finish third in the vote total, meaning Rodgers could prevent Biden’s re-election if he accepts an opportunity. This is insanity, I realize, a Hall of Famer concerned with national balloting while playing his 17-game regular season. But anyone who sees this as a joke doesn’t understand the meatballishness in Rodgers’ brain — which he swears is smarter than ours — and a domain name registered last week via a GoDaddy host.

     Ready: kennedyrodgers.com.

     There are enough boneheads to choose Rodgers in November, especially if he’s winning games. Consider the warfare lodged from Kimmel, especially if Pat McAfee returns Rodgers to his airwaves. Hell, it wasn’t long ago when he said a “Jeopardy” hosting gig would lead to his next job. Instead, he moped his way out of Green Bay, where the Packers were cagey enough to draft Jordan Love. He will bang the gong with Kennedy if it earns him a place in history. Infamy is the likely alternative.

     “Would the Secret Service have to gun down opposing pass rushers?” said Steve Politi, who covers the Jets in New Jersey.

     Here in California, we laughed when Steve Garvey was helped by Rep. Adam B. Schiff to finish second in a Senate primary. Schiff will win easily in November, leaving the 75-year-old former baseball player to quote Yogi Berra at a Palm Springs celebration. “Know this: It ain’t over till it’s over,” Garvey said. “It’s true in baseball and it’s true in politics. Any my opponent has been advertising that he wants me. He’s mistaking kindness for weakness. I would suggest that he keep in mind that old saying: Be careful what you ask for.”

     Only Aaron Rodgers, of course, would take another path of deviousness. Recalling his days as a celebrity lover, angering his ex-girlfriends, the craziest journey would be stealing Taylor Swift from Travis Kelce. That might happen if he promises to make her the First Lady.

     ###

     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.