IF TRAVIS + TAYLOR DOESN’T FEATURE A VICTORY AND AN ENGAGEMENT? YIKES

Here we have the Vegas Super Bowl that everyone wants — the NFL, the gambling community, Kansas City — and if we embrace these intimate stories, Kelce must win as a football player serving the queen

     If we believe in this procession of apogee, Travis Kelce will win the Super Bowl with a touchdown pass from Patrick Mahomes, whose swimsuited wife will dance with Taylor Swift, who hugs her dad and helps him win his $10,000 bet, leading to a wild on-field jollification that has a 250-pound tight end proposing to the planet’s most trusted human voice as FanDuel offers an 8-1 payout.

     Would that not be America, as beautiful as it can be 24 years into the century? Would that not be entertainment in a serpentine world?

     “I’m focused on getting this ring,” Kelce said as the game approached. “She is absolutely my number one fan. Everything afterward will just fall into place.”

     Here we have what the NFL wants, the championship game in Las Vegas after years of boycotting it. And here we have what Kelce wants, a romance that makes him bigger than anyone in uniform. And here we have what Swift wants — I think — a football star likely to win the trophy in the end. And here we have what the gambling companies want, as 67.8 million adults bet $23.1 billion Sunday night. And here we have what the Kansas City Chiefs want, an opportunity to lift a Midwestern flyover town atop the globe with a dynasty. And here we have what the San Francisco 49ers want, a chance to parade Brock Purdy as a product of their head coach’s genius.

     And here we have, when she arrives from Tokyo, a lark of Swifties who never have watched a Super Bowl and might never again, capable of pushing viewership totals near 130 million. Or maybe even more, now that 16 percent of U.S. shoppers say she convinced them to buy recent football gear. No wonder commissioner Roger Goodell and the owners love her. No wonder Usher, the halftime host, might point to her suite and request a brief prelude. It’s little wonder that sports, in our life experience, never has seemed larger and more encompassing to all peeps.

     Let’s say it: She has met a plateau of fame larger than any person on the planet. She is bigger than the players, bigger than the league, bigger than Vegas. It bothers me when the farthest right is so entrenched with Swift and Kelce, convinced they are trying to re-elect President Biden, that security officials must detail every threat when she arrives. “There are so many different parties that want to inflict harm to America. What better way to generate publicity than one of the biggest games in the United States?” said Gil Fried, a Florida sports facility specialist. “I think the fact that Taylor Swift is there will enhance how this target could be more attractive.” Also imagine those people rooting for San Francisco, a city they otherwise loathe, because Kelce plays for the other team?

     For now, as she enjoys her latest Grammy Awards spree, Swift watches her boy toy attempt to match her history with his second straight title. Give Kelce credit for staying cool all week while the 49ers complained about a soggy field and a too-early wakeup call. “I think it’s fair. I think everyone is having fun with it,” he said. “It’s not like you guys (the media) are up here teeing off on me left and right. How can I be upset about it? I’m very fortunate to be in the position I am in life and have amazing things going for me. I’d be silly to find any negativity in what’s going on.”

     Is Taylor ready for the rambunctious hullabaloo, when the world — like it or not — sees CBS showing her just to excite her fans? “She’s unbelievable. She’s rewriting the history books herself, and I told her I’d have to hold up my end of the bargain and come home with some hardware, too,” he said. “She’s definitely brought a lot of new faces to the game. It’s been fun to experience that. She’s a part of Chiefs Kingdom right now. It’s fun seeing her enjoy the game knowing it’s kind of new to her life.”

     Has he heard her new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” which could be her take on media? “I can’t wait for her to shake up the world when it finally drops,” he said. “I can’t give you anything. I’ll leave that up to her.”

     It’s hard to believe anyone with his grand place could hold up so well. Imagine rock bands, politicians in the same seat. The 49ers continue to mope, with Christian McCaffrey’s mother shutting her down. “I refuse to listen to Taylor Swift songs,” Lisa said. “I love the relationship, but we are boycotting any T. Swift songs. If she pops up on the radio, nope. She’s dead to us this week.”

     Dead? Really? Consider it a blessing Swift overcame a misjudged angle on her chair in Japan, where her leg strength helped as she sang “Vigilante Sh—.” Imagine if that stunt kept her away from Vegas. Instead, Kelce treated it as part of the act. “The only thing we talk about is as long as we’re happy, you can’t listen to anything that’s outside noise,” he said. “Worldwide fame is a lot different than just being famous in Kansas City.”

     It’s amazing how a Los Angeles Times big-story reporter, Amy Kaufman, made her way to his media setting. She told Kelce she arrived to cover the duo. He laughed, but when she asked about the public’s general fascination, he said, quite tellingly: “I think the values that we stand for. Who we are as people. We love to shine a light on others — shine light around the people that love and support us. And on top of that, I feel like we both just have a love for life.”

     A follow-up wondered what’s next for him. “There’s definitely Hollywood talks out there, but I’ve been focused on football,” Kelce said. “I’ll probably have a lot of those meetings and conversations when the season is over.”

     Sorry, but this Super Bowl and this season cannot end without Travis and Taylor winning. They created the bond. They’ve made it work for months. She takes home awards, and now, he has a scoring catch to make that finishes an unforgettable tale. “Just treat her like a queen,” said his coach, Andy Reid.

     If the Chiefs win, they’ll be married. If they lose, Joe Alwyn and Calvin Harris might have company on the downbeat. Understand, Taylor Swift never loses.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.