HERE’S THE AMERICAN PLAN: CARRY ON, LIKE KERR, RATHER THAN WEEP FOR KAMALA
Check out the sports kingdom, where Rory McIlroy instantly saw a chance to use Elon Musk to solve the PGA Tour-LIV Golf mess while Steve Kerr moved on and led the 7-1 Warriors to a victory in Boston
It’s one of those zigzagging moments when we’re eyeballed by life expectancy. Men might die at 74.8 years. Women might die at 80.2 years. We can accept Donald Trump’s return to the presidency or we can curse it away like Jon Stewart, who shouted to the generalized world, “I don’t ever wanna f— hear from you again. Ever. And I don’t care for you. Here’s what we know: It’s that we don’t really know anything.’’
Well, Trump won and Kamala Harris lost. Doesn’t that suffice for now? “We’re going to come out of this election and we’re going to make all kinds of pronouncements about what this country is and what this world is. And the truth is, we’re not really gonna know s—,” Stewart said. “And we’re going to make it seem like this is the finality of our civilization. We’re all going to have to wake up and work like hell to move the world to the place that we prefer it to be.”
Or, we could be Rory McIlroy. He has been scratching his trousers in a rage about the PGA Tour and LIV Golf and why they can’t reach a workable conclusion. He is bewildered by the Saudi Public Investment Fund, which handsomely bankrolls LIV and has turned a gentlemanly sport into misery. But Trump brought Elon Musk to his celebratory Florida gathering in Wednesday’s wee hours. Suddenly, McIlroy saw hope about closing a deal.
“He might be able to. He’s got Elon Musk, who I think is the smartest man in the world, beside him,” said McIlroy, suddenly in tune with Trump as a Mensa man. “We might be able to do something if we can get Musk involved too. I think from the outside looking in, it’s probably a little less complicated than it actually is. But obviously, Trump has a great relationship with Saudi Arabia. He’s got a great relationship with golf. He’s a lover of golf. So, maybe. Who knows?”
It wasn’t long ago when McIlroy, who views politics more heavily than his mess-ups in major tournaments, said he loathed LIV. “I still hate LIV. Like, I hate LIV. Like, I hope it goes away,” he said. But he’s also wily enough to know that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law, has hosted six LIV tournaments in three seasons. Before he returned to power, Trump appeared on a podcast with Bill Belichick and said this of the parties last week: “It would take me the better part of 15 minutes to get that deal done.”
Whiners cry. Winners get with the program.
Steve Kerr detests Trump. He peppered him at the Democratic National Convention and used Steph Curry’s “night, night” attempt to bury him. Turns out Trump put him to sleep, but Wednesday night in Boston, the coach of the Golden State Warriors produced the best early victory of the NBA season. Jayson Tatum wanted revenge after Kerr didn’t play him twice at the Olympics. Jaylen Brown watched from the bench after Kerr and Grant Hill didn’t consider him for a team spot. The fans booed Kerr as they boo in New England.
He won.
“I just told them in our meeting this morning, ‘Let’s make America great again and beat the Celtics,’ ’’ Kerr said.
The Warriors played defense in the final five minutes. “It just felt like we connected the game, got stops and were able to get scores and close it out,” he said.
So he moved on to 7-1 with a 118-112 victory. “It’s a great test, knowing we haven’t done a damn thing, but it felt good,” said Curry, who also endorsed Harris. Not that Kerr didn’t fire one last shot at Trump.
“I’m just thankful there wasn’t any voting fraud this time. Last time, I mean, all those illegal immigrants who crashed the border, raped and murdered people and then voted six times, that was unfortunate,” Kerr said with deep sarcasm. “But thankfully this time, everything was clean. So, it’s great that every election has been really valid except for that last one four years ago. Twinkle in my eye as I say that in case you couldn’t see it.”
Then he tried to support Trump. “But I believe in democracy, I believe in the will of the people and I will do everything I can to support my country and our government,” Kerr said. “The American people have spoken and voted for Trump. I want nothing but the best for us. It’s a complex world. We got a lot of interesting stuff between wars abroad and the global economy that has shifted everything in terms of what it means for our citizens, they’re day-to-day lives.
“I’m well aware I live in a bubble and I’m one of the luckiest people on Earth. So, I want what’s best for us. And I hope Trump can deliver that.”
LeBron James? After publicly endorsing Harris, he posted a photo of his 10-year-old daughter, Zhuri. He is concerned about abortion, understandably. "HEAVY ON MY HEART & MIND THIS AM MY PRINCESS!!” James wrote. “PROMISE TO PROTECT YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE AND MORE!! WE DON’T NEED THEIR HELP!” Trump will not dislodge James and his family from the planet. His $1.2 billion in net worth remains intact.
He has bigger issues on the court. The Los Angeles Lakers are 4-4 under coach JJ Redick, who praised James and ripped his teammates Wednesday night after a 131-114 loss in Memphis. Already, Redick has effort issues while James was scoring 39 points. “I think LeBron was fantastic tonight. Biggest thing that stood out,” he said. “He played hard. Almost 40 years old and played the hardest on our team. It says a lot about him.”
And the other Lakers? Redick put down his microphone on a table. “I just did,” he said, leaving the media conference. “First thing I said to them.” D’Angelo Russell is in the doghouse after playing six second-half minutes. The Grizzlies loved it, with Ja Morant saying, “I don’t like them” before departing with a hamstring injury. Morant, who has had serious issues off the court, fired “too small” chatter at James, who responded with his own “too small” yapping. He wasn’t thinking about Trump. In his 22nd NBA season, he’d better connect with his mates and try to make the playoffs. Desmond Bane hooted about James after Scotty Pippen Jr. stole the ball: "See the way he snatched that ball from that old man over there?”
The New York Times was among suffering publications. Harris lost, but editors ran this headline: “Populist Revolt Against Elite’s Vision of the U.S.” The Times shielded her defeat by referring to her “elite” support system. Maybe that’s why daily circulation isn’t what it could be — referring to Trumpers as non-elitist. “Populist disenchantment with the nation’s direction and resentment against elites proved to be deeper and more profound than many in both parties had recognized,” the paper wrote. “Mr. Trump’s testosterone-driven campaign capitalized on resistance to electing the first woman president.”
Through it all, Harris appeared at her alma mater and remained poised. The female Barack Obama, as she was called, didn’t snipe. “We will engage in a peaceful transfer of power,” she said at Howard University, recalling how Trump fell short in 2020. “It is OK to feel sad and disappointed, but please know it’s going to be OK.”
With Trump engaging in behavioral madness, sports stars likely will continue to act up in public. Jason Kelce should be surrounded by security thugs before a Penn State game, when he smashed the phone of a fan who said his brother, Travis, was a “f——t” for dating Taylor Swift. The university is investigating the episode.
“I’m not happy about the situation. Me reacting gave him the time of day and it also gave the situation notoriety. That’s what I regret. Alright,” said Jason, who works for ESPN. “It didn’t deserve attention. It’s really stupid and if I just keep walking it’s a f–king nothing burger. Nobody sees it. Now it’s out there and it just perpetuates more hate. The thing that I regret the most is saying that word to be honest with you. That word he used, its just f–king ridiculous, it takes it to another level. It’s just off the wall, f–king over the line. As a human it got under my skin. And it elicited a reaction and in the heat of the moment. I thought, ‘What can I say back to him?’ ’’
He came up with the wrong word. “I’m gonna throw that s—t right back in his face because f–-k him,” Kelce said. “I know now I shouldn’t have done that because now there is a video out there with me saying that word, him saying that word and it’s not good for anybody. I think what I do regret is that now there is a video that is very hateful that is now online that has been seen by millions of people and I share fault in perpetuating it and having it out there.”
A day doesn’t pass without an incident. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy — back in the mode when he said, “I’m a man! I’m 40!’’ — bludgeoned fans who wondered why he started 0-6 in the Big 12. “It's just on the bigger stage where people can voice their opinion, and in most cases, the people that are negative and voicing their opinion are the same one that can't pay their own bills,” he said. “They're not taking care of themselves. They're not taking care of their own family. They're not taking care of their own job. But they have an obligation to speak out and complain about others because it makes them feel better. But then, in the end, when they go to bed at night, they're the same failure that they were before they said anything negative about anybody else.”
He said sorry Tuesday night. “I apologize to those who my comments during Monday's media call offended,” Gundy wrote. “My intent was not to offend any of our fans who have supported us and this program through the years.”
A Donald Trump triumph encourages the sports kingdom to keep lashing out. Or folks can keep winning, like Kerr. Or seek hope, like McIlroy. Will they live longer lives? They move on while others might bleed.
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Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.