GIVE CUBDOM A SWIG OF SHOTA — AS IN IMANAGA, WITH HIS THROTTLING 0.84 ERA

A city that requires sports heroes for affirmation has found joy in the Japanese pitcher, whose early numbers rank among the best in Major League Baseball history at a relative bargain of $53 million

     The prototype pounds booze and bares fangs. He plays football in Chicago. In a freak outlier, a statue of Earth’s basketball deity is erected in the United Center, except dopes believe he was a rental and prefer a Butkus, a Ditka, a Payton, an Urlacher or, if the L.A. hype isn’t phony, a Caleb Williams. Baseball? Everyone is too drunk to know the names, but Kris Bryant threw to Anthony Rizzo and won a World Series for the first time in 108 years of Cubdom. Hockey? A Kaner, a Toews and a Bedard don’t slaughter quarterbacks.

     Bill and Bob Swerski, the Super Fans from “Saturday Night Live,” wouldn’t have words for Shota Imanaga. If they did, they would mispronounce the name and make jokes about sucking sushi on a conveyor belt. He is 5 feet 10 and weighs 175 pounds. He signed on the North Side for $53 million, which is $322 million less than what the Dodgers paid Yoshinobu Yamamoto with posting fees. No one knew much about Imanaga until he showed up from Japan at his first news conference.

     “Go Cubs Go!” he sang, in English.

     And then he chose a local sports tune, “Chelsea Dagger,” from the Blackhawks as a warmup theme at Wrigley Field.

     And then he started walking around town and tried to meet people. “The only time I really go out anywhere is buying my latte at Dunkin Donuts,” he said, confusing baristas when he can’t decide between a medium or small on ice. “So hopefully I can keep doing well and keep putting up stats so people get to know me when I’m walking.”

     Oh, they know him now, through a magnetic swing and a miss. Keenly watching how Chicagoans embrace their pitchers, Imanaga has rewarded Cubs fans with conscience-staggering production. His earned-run average — 0.84 — is the lowest in Major League Baseball history in his first nine career starts. He’s 5-0 with 58 strikeouts and nine walks in 53 2/3 innings. He has turned Greg Maddux and Kerry Wood into past wannabes with his fastball and splitter. Even those familiar with Fernando Valenzuela’s second season recall an ERA slightly higher. This is, as June nears, arguably the best pitching debut ever. And it’s happening in Wrigleyville, where they’re pondering a playoff berth while touting an unlikely superace for the Cy Young Award, Rookie of the Year honors in the National League and an All-Star Game start.

     The concept was welcoming new people into his pocket. Shohei Ohtani has worked human miracles during his seven seasons in southern California. But Shota in Chicago? Taking over the town at 30 when sports heroes are required for local affirmation? Where is this international tale headed? “Watching foreign players in Japan and how they try to figure out how to get support from fans, essentially I’m just doing the opposite of that, coming over here,” Imanaga said via an interpreter. “It was something I thought about.”

     He claims his performance level doesn’t impact him yet. “If I’m being honest, I’m not really too interested in stats like that or any of historic value,” he said. “But knowing there were so many good pitchers that came before me is a good learning experience.” He has only dabbled in the pizza and hasn’t tried a frankfurter on a poppy seed bun with pickle relish, yellow mustard, white onions, tomato slices, a pickle spear, peppers and celery salt. But at this rate, the Imanaga Dog could replace Vienna Beef.

     “When you start getting into this territory, you have to be a little surprised,” manager Craig Counsell said. “It has been so much fun, his aptitude out there, his pitchmaking ability, his stuff, his competitiveness — they’ve all been just a joy to watch. … He’s in a place in life where he’s very sure who he is, and that’s been evident kind of from early on. He’s very confident in his choices, very confident in people he puts around him. I think he is looking for the experience of what can I enjoy from a new country, and I think you take that perspective and it makes the experience a really good one.”

     Did someone say Valenzuela? In 1981? “Obviously, I wasn’t around for Fernando,” said teammate Cody Bellinger, the former Dodger. “But if it was anything like this, it’s pretty tremendous, honestly.”

     He discovered the splitter five years ago, blazing it to the point where’s it’s nearly untouchable. A four-seam fastball averages at 92.1 mph. In Japan, they call him “The Throwing Philosopher” with his book about pitching a popular item. It’s shocking that Jed Hoyer, who runs the baseball operation after Theo Epstein fled for the Hall of Fame, found Imanaga at a relative bargain. “The way he thinks about himself as a pitcher, the way he talks through his first few starts here, he’s thoughtful about everything,” Hoyer told the Associated Press. “I think he knows he can continue to get better and continue to refine stuff. It has been a great start, and I am glad people have sort of gravitated towards watching him.”

     ‘‘There’s just very few balls that feel hittable for the hitter,’’ Counsell said. ‘‘You just feel the hitter constantly a little between.’’

     The red marquee at Addison and Clark doesn’t shy away. “Sho Time” the board reads before he pitches, though the meaning is the same at Dodger Stadium, where Shota vs. Shohei will happen. Out in Lake Forest, Williams has been practicing as potentially the greatest quarterback in Bears history. Right now, he’s secondary on the scene.

     Besides, Imanaga bares fangs.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.