BELICHICK RIPS THE BEARS, WHO WON’T BE HIRING HIM WHEN JERRY JONES WILL

Continuing his great commentary work, unlike Tom Brady, Belichick lambasted the work of general manager Ryan Poles as we await the offseason, when Dallas wins his coaching services over Philadelphia

     In his ubiquitous black t-shirt, Pat McAfee laughed, squinted and swirled on the air. Bill Belichick was torching the Bears, a task for all of us, except he’s the best defensive coach of all time and won six Super Bowls in New England. Already, an abused Chicago fan base ponders massive changes if the franchise seeks its sixth head coach since 2012, which includes two general managers named Ryan hiring men named Matt.

     Anyone who wants the team chairman to chase Belichick, with the nod of 101-year-old Virginia McCaskey, can forget it. Ryan Poles is too busy being toasted by a media maven who doesn’t understand what the management boss is doing. As it is, Belichick has criticized Caleb Williams as a quarterback who isn’t “accurate.” Now, he wonders why the Bears will emphasize passing with inclement weather arriving on the lakefront.

     “It’s gonna get tougher. Chicago in November and December, that’s a fun place to rely on throwing the ball,” said Belichick, tongue in cheek. “So the combination of struggling with a running game and having to throw a lot and pass-protect a lot, I don’t think that’s really playing into the strength. That’s not a strength of the Bears team. I’m not really sure how they’re putting that together. But to chuck it 50 times in Chicago on a long-term basis is tough.”

     He is 72. Poles is 38. The grandpa was talking down to a youngster Monday, after Williams was sacked seven times and hit 11 times while the running game gained 27 yards in a loss to Houston.

     Said Belichick: “For Chicago, just in terms of their overall team construction, the way that they decide to do it, you know, you look at a team like Detroit in their division and Detroit has got three really good linemen with (Penei) Sewell, (Frank) Ragnow and (Taylor) Decker and those guys give, generally, (Jared) Goff a lot of protection. The Bears have really put their resources into, a lot of money and a lot of draft choices into, receivers but they've had problems on their offensive line and it doesn't really look like that's gotten much better.”

     There was more. Belichick said Texans coach DeMeco Ryans blitzed when it wasn’t necessary. “(The Bears) had trouble with a four-man rush, a five-man rush, just single blocks up there have been a problem for them,” he said. “You know, I like the receivers and I think the quarterback has got a chance, but it's tough and I think it's going to get tougher for them.”

     Sometime this offseason, if not earlier, Belichick will be summoned by an NFL owner to coach again. He is balls-out terrific as a commentator for McAfee, the CW’s “Inside the NFL,” a “Let’s Go!” show on Sirius XM, a regular spot for Underdog Fantasy and a 30-minute role with Peyton Manning on ESPN+. If we’re compensating football analysts, he should be making $375 million while kicking Tom Brady in the tail.

     Why didn’t Fox Sports listen to me and hire Belichick for weekly booth bombasts with Brady? Because I am smarter than the man who runs Fox Sports.

     Forget the Bears, obviously. Poles won’t like him, while Belichick wouldn’t want to inherit Williams, of whom he said: “The great quarterbacks in this league don’t just rely on their natural abilities. They must be able to handle pressure situations and make quick, smart decisions.” The New York Giants? Years have passed since Eli Manning beat the Patriots twice in Super Bowls and decades since he served them as a coordinator. Today, why would he want Daniel Jones and a long rebuild?

     He is expected to be careful with his next selection. He knows better after dancing with the Atlanta Falcons and losing the coaching job to Raheem Morris. Appearing on the ManningCast, Belichick mentioned Falcons owner Arthur Blank and his premature joy before the Patriots returned to win Super Bowl LI. “I remember Blank down on the sideline in the fourth quarter, celebrating when they were ahead,” he said. “He's a pretty good dresser. Arthur always looks sharp, but he was down there on the sideline, and we were getting beat, and I was like, Jesus.”

     It’s early in the 2024 season, Jesus. He is only warming up. But move to late December, when Caleb is dealing with sub-zero temperatures at Soldier Field.

     Jerry Jones will call Belichick to coach in Dallas.

     And the Philadelphia Eagles will call Belichick to replace Nick Sirianni, who blew a farce Monday night by throwing to Saquon Barkley after blowing the second half of last season.

     The media is just a side game. And Belichick is winning, with no apologies to Poles in his orange tie. But he needs another football team and a chance to prevail and, yes, challenge Don Shula’s record as the winningest head coach. “I think he may be the best coach, certainly of my time in the NFL,” said Jones, crusty at 81. “Bill’s a friend and a great coach.”

     Can they get along?

     “I like Bill Belichick,” he said.

     Brady? He can comment upstairs and say little.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.