AMERICA’S ROOTING INTEREST: JOE BRRRRR OVER TEAM HOLLYWOOD
No Mahomes means a less-than-sexy matchup, yet Joe Burrow’s sudden megastardom is worthy of our allegiance as Cinderella Cincinnati plays the home-team Rams in Super Bowl LVI
So there we were throughout America, in our collective rush to be kingmakers, ready to anoint Patrick Mahomes as the supreme being at the most vital position in team sports. Tom Brady is gone. Aaron Rodgers soon will be gone. Why wouldn’t Mahomes, with five ticks left in the first half at Cincinnati’s 1-yard line, either extend Kansas City’s lead to 28-10 in the AFC Championship Game or throw the ball away for a field goal against the good-as-dead Bengals and their tire-track helmets?
Then, he would advance to his third successive Super Bowl, fittingly in Hollywood, where he would lock down his new status as our country’s pre-eminent athlete like a State Farm insurance policy. Until …
“I got a little greedy there,’’ Mahomes said.
“I was hoping we could get the ball in the end zone,” coach Andy Reid said. “I probably gave the wrong play, first of all. I could have given them something better than that. I’ll take responsibility.”
Inexpicably, no matter who’s to blame, Mahomes threw the football in the flat to Tyreek Hill, who was tackled before the goal line despite his Olympic sprinter’s speed. And the Chiefs, as if cursed by the postseason football gods, didn’t score another touchdown Sunday. That’s how quickly NFL history can shift, and, now, as Mahomes hazily wonders if his once-unstoppable legacy will fall short of expectations, we look to Joe Burrow as the quarterbacking archetype. Does he even shave? Is he old enough to drive? Was he of legal age when he and his teammates imbibed with more booze and cigars after a preposterous 27-24 overtime victory that sends the little-town Bengals — the Bungles, Cincinnati as Cinderella, the team that Skyline Chili built — to Super Bowl LVI against the Los Angeles Rams in their $6 billion palace, as bankrolled by an owner who mandated a championship with his spouse’s Walmart fortunes?
Or, recalling how Burrow directed LSU to a national championship only two years ago, are we witnessing the next great sports takeover? What’s so precious about this kid — as Mahomes gets greedy, Matthew Stafford survives miscues thanks to savior Cooper Kupp, and Jimmy Garoppolo gags — is that he didn’t even flinch when the Bengals advanced to their first Big Game in 33 years. He expects titles as a basic part of life, like walking and talking and eating breakfast. They want to call him Joe Cool, like Joe Montana in the day. His favorite receiver, JaMarr Chase, has a better nickname.
“Joe Brrrrr,’’ he said.
No? When a media smartass asked if the diamonds on his gold “JB9’’ pendant were authentic, Burrow had a quick retort that suggests nothing fazes him, including the seemingly lopsided Feb. 13 assignment at SoFi Stadium. “They’re definitely real. I make too much money to have fake ones,’’ he said.
The Joe Brrrrr narrative certainly works in L.A., not because of the weather, much warmer than in his frigid native Ohio, but because he and the Bengals are just the kind of upstart, straight-from-the-pasture fairy tale that will be celebrated by the drama kings. Only two years ago, they were the league’s worst team, which led to the No. 1 draft pick that yielded Burrow, who grew up 2 1/2 hours away in the state’s obscure, downtrodden southeastern corner. Only two other NFL franchises have climbed from the dregs to a conference title in three seasons. One was the 1981 San Francisco 49ers, who were quarterbacked by Montana, whose career arc was thought to be unique before Burrow came along four decades later. Now, the similarities are eerie.
“I’d say nobody blinked an eye,’’ Burrow said of the early deficit. “I think we all thought we were going to come back and win the game.’’
And now that he has reached a Super Bowl at 25, bidding to become only the second quarterback — joining, yes, Montana — to win NFL and college championships, don’t expect him to be overwhelmed by what’s ahead. “I wouldn’t call it surreal, I would say it’s exciting,’’ Burrow said. “I think if you would have told me before the season that we’d be going to the Super Bowl, I probably would have called you crazy. Then, you know, we play the whole season and nothing surprises me now.”
It definitely would shock most of us if the Bengals, despite Burrow’s swagger, won the Super Bowl. As a superteam with glittering names on both sides of the ball, the Rams are impressive only when they have to be, such as when Stafford hit the incomparable, unguardable Kupp — worthy of the “MVP!’’ and “Coooop!’’ chants — to secure field position for the game-winning field goal in the NFC Championship Game. They would have lost for a seventh straight time to the 49ers if coach Kyle Shanahan had a clutch quarterback who was trying not to lose the game in the final two minutes, though Garoppolo lost it anyway, and if safety Jaquiski Tartt hadn’t dropped an interception.
But it’s hard to imagine that Aaron Donald and a growling defense won’t overwhelm Burrow and his vulnerable offensive line. The Rams seem to play as hard as they have to, and much of the pressure is off now, as they get to stay home for the Super Bowl as the Buccaneers did last year in Tampa Bay. It’s a significant advantage, especially when the Bengals will have been on the road for a month.
“We said, there’s no way we’re not gonna win this damn game,’’ said Stafford, who was rescued from Detroit hell for this moment. “We’ve got one more in our home stadium. Let’s get it done. You can’t write the story any better.’’
Having shaken the Shanahan bugaboo, Rams coach Sean McVay now must beat his former assistant, Bengals coach Zac Taylor. McVay almost lost this game in the second half with two unsuccessful officiating challenges, and if he loses the Super Bowl, owner Stan Kroenke will be reminded that a more accomplished Sean — Payton — is available. “I think it’s a great sign of the stars shining the brightest when they needed to and also guys stepping up when they were asked to,” McVay said. For now, Kroenke is just another fan, though wealthier than most.
``Rams’ House!’’ he chanted during the trophy ceremony. “Unbelievable. ... Fantastic.”
In a postseason of fantastic games and monstrous TV ratings, the NFL will pretend it loves this Super Bowl matchup. It doesn’t, nor does NBC. The league wanted Mahomes vs. the Rams, not the Bengals. It’s not a healthy sign that more buzz accompanies Kansas City’s failures than Cincinnati’s ascent.
“The leaders on this team know this isn't our standard. We want to win the Super Bowl,’’ said Mahomes, who looked headed to a record day after throwing scoring passes on his first three possessions. “Whenever you taste winning the Super Bowl, anything less than that is not success. It's definitely disappointing. Here, with this group of guys that we have, we expect to be in that game and win that game, and anything less than that is not success.’’
That said, America wouldn’t have had a rooting interest with Mahomes facing Team Hollywood. Now, we do. Joe Burrow is our hope for a close game, and those who think his diamonds are fake should know the early line favors the home team by just 3.5 points. Remember, the Rams only are the second-most-popular NFL franchise in a transplant-invasive market where out-of-town teams are most popular — the Las Vegas Raiders, once based in L.A., are No. 1. Niners fans again controlled Kroenke’s “Rams House’’ by a 60-40 count. Don’t expect the percentage to change on Super Bowl Sunday, if you know where I’m going with this.
“I never feel like we’re out of it,’’ Burrow said.
Hold that thought.
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Jay Mariotti, called “the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.