A LIFELESS HALAS HALL MUST ANSWER — ANOTHER NEW COACH — IN A FURIOUS NFL

Eight teams or more could make changes, and if the Bears want to help Caleb Williams and his teammates, they’ll be ridiculed by Belichick and Vrabel (and others) and must spend big for Ben Johnson

     The NFL moves fast, such as Xavier Worthy racing against Tyreek Hill before the Miami cops bruised him (he says). But for a franchise that has trudged unhurriedly through time, the Bears should have all coaching antennae raised in Lake Forest. Never mind artificial intelligence, even if the McCaskeys turn on that dreadful gadget called the Internet and ask an otherwise useless Kevin Warren to help.

     Matt Nagy lasted four years. John Fox lasted three years. Marc Trestman lasted two years. Matt Eberflus will last three, unless general manager Ryan Poles trots out his “I love ‘Flus” juice and somehow makes it four, which would assure a new stadium for the Bears because fans will burn down Soldier Field.

     For a nationally tortured front office working for ridiculed and unaware owners, the usual fiasco is just beginning. Never mind what remains in a regular season of six or five or no more victories. The new opponents appear to be Dallas, Jacksonville, Cleveland, both New York teams, New Orleans, Las Vegas and other owners who itch and scratch for better leadership.

     Halas Hall, or Malice Hall, should be seeking its fifth head coach since Lovie Smith was dismissed on New Year’s Eve of 2012. In a dozen years, Eberflus is Nagy is Fox is Trestman. He is 14-30. George and Virginia are the same missing McCaskey mannequins. Warren was rescued from a Big Ten Conference that loathed him. Ryan Poles came from Kansas City but has no direct relation to Patrick Mahomes’ last two Super Bowl wins and, worse, never sought Jim Harbaugh at Michigan, though he quarterbacked the Bears in the ‘90s and is excelling with the Los Angeles Chargers.

     So, who is the next sideline victim? I have said Ben Johnson five times as electricity for Caleb Williams. That means he won’t be happening. Other than the lake and the trees, what is certain about the Route 60 facility is that Smith succeeded once — with a lost Super Bowl in 2007 — since Mike Ditka drank away his firing day on Jan. 5, 1993.

     Bill Belichick confirmed he wants to coach next season, yet as a studio analyst, all he does is destroy Poles as general manager. Is this his way of reminding the McCaskeys — I think they’ve heard of him, after he coached New England to six championships — that he could do a better job as a coach and GM? That won’t be happening, either. Already, the rumor is Jacksonville will throw money and power at him after firing Doug Pederson.

     He continued after Green Bay’s Karl Brooks blocked a game-winning field-goal attempt by Cairo Santos from 46 yards, which Eberflus made more difficult by not trying to gain more yardage with 35 seconds remaining. Many of us cringed, including wide receiver DJ Moore, who said, “Yes, but we did what we did.” Belichick was shocked the Bears allowed a block amid today’s special-teams rules.

     “You know, they've almost made it illegal to block a field goal. I'm surprised that they have a rule where you're not allowed to cross the line of scrimmage like they had in the Pro Bowl a few years back,” he said Monday. “You can't overload, you can't jump, you can't push, you can't hit the center. It's so hard to block a kick that, I mean, I don't know if we're going to start, I don't know. It's just frustrating.”

     Of course, a day too late, Eberflus said the Packers interfered with his long-snapper. “We'll turn the play in. They were on our long-snapper, so we'll turn the play in and see what the league said,” he said. “We saw them making direct contact with him right away.”

     Whatever. “To me, the bigger thing is just where the Bears are,” Belichick said last week, adding with sarcasm that they “can’t protect” and “have this all-star quarterback, these all-star receivers, the greatest skill players in the history of football, and the offensive line is a problem.” And while they managed to move the ball Sunday and scored two touchdowns — thanks largely to Williams scrambling out of desperation — the Bears have lost four straight games in a streak that could extend all season. Belichick criticized management for ignoring cold weather when they drafted Williams. Will they leave the kid with a frozen face the night after Christmas?

     “It’s gonna get tougher. Chicago in November and December, that’s a fun place to rely on throwing the ball,” said Belichick, tongue in cheek. “So the combination of struggling with a running game and having to throw a lot and pass-protect a lot, I don’t think that’s really playing into the strength. That’s not a strength of the Bears team. I’m not really sure how they’re putting that together. But to chuck it 50 times in Chicago on a long-term basis is tough.”

     And what has Poles done? “That's the way the team is built. They weren't built like the Chargers were built — they have a different model, a different format,” Belichick said. “Same thing with Detroit, which went out and did what? Got two good tackles and a center — not a bad place to start. … Detroit has got three really good linemen with (Penei) Sewell, (Frank) Ragnow and (Taylor) Decker and those guys give, generally, (Jared) Goff a lot of protection. The Bears have really put their resources into, a lot of money and a lot of draft choices into, receivers but they've had problems on their offensive line and it doesn't really look like that's gotten much better.”

     It’s a model, unfortunately, that is going nowhere. Poles is the general manager with Warren as the president. Who will coach Williams and a decent defense? Anyone?

     Kliff Kingsbury finished as an also-ran behind Shane Waldron, who lost his job after nine games as an offensive coordinator. Eberflus preferred someone who was “too nice a guy,” as receiver Keenan Allen said, and didn’t communicate well with Williams and his players. Kingsbury would prefer to clean Jayden Daniels’ cleats than return to Chicago as a head coach. That won’t be happening, either.

     Mike Vrabel qualifies as a Chicago-style defensive badass with disciplined habits. He’d kick Williams in the tail. That won’t be happening, either.

     Zac Robinson was an also-ran, too, watching Waldron go down as he helps Atlanta as an offensive coordinator. He is viewed as another Sean McVay product. That won’t be happening, either.

     McVay? That won’t be happening, either, in any solar system.

     Brian Flores has done wonders with the Minnesota defense but also is suing the NFL. That won’t be happening, either.

     Deion Sanders? He avoids Chicago like a palm tree salesman. The Bears are the team he could have mentioned when guiding his son, Shedeur, and Travis Hunter to quality franchises. “Somebody that can handle the quarterback he is and somebody that can handle — understanding what he’s capable of,” Sanders said. “Someone that has had success in the past handling quarterbacks or someone and an organization that understands what they’re doing. Not just throwing you out there amongst the wolves if you don’t have the support and the infrastructure of the team.”

     That won’t be happening, either.

     Or you have Thomas Brown, called “TB” by Williams, and the one man who has a shot at Halas Hall. He’s the offensive coordinator who shook down the fort and performed well after Waldron departed. He has a home game against Flores and the Vikings and three straight at Detroit, San Francisco and Minnesota. Then he returns home against Detroit and Seattle and finishes at Green Bay.

     Does he even want the head coaching job? A fine question.

     A Matt or a John or even a Marc? They’re out there again, cheaply, though Williams curiously brought up his chat last week with Lincoln Riley. His name might come up, naturally, as the coach who lured him to Oklahoma and then USC, where he won the Heisman Trophy two years ago. Riley is struggling but makes too much money. A Liam is out there, named Coen. A Slowik is out there, Bobby, whose dad once served as a Bears defensive coordinator. A Petzing is out there, Drew, whose offense stymied the Bears in Arizona. A Smith is out there, Frank, working with Tua Tagovailoa in Miami. A Brady is out there, not Tom but Joe, who has helped Josh Allen become an MVP candidate in Buffalo.

     There always will be another new name.

     No one has impressed me since Ditka.

     He was hired almost 43 years ago.

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     Jay Mariotti, called “without question the most impacting Chicago sportswriter of the past quarter-century,’’ writes general sports columns for Substack while appearing on some of the 1,678,498 podcasts and shows in production today. He is an accomplished columnist, TV panelist and talk/podcast host. Living in Los Angeles, he gravitated by osmosis to film projects.